Why the name?

Why- “Yes, they are all mine”?  Because it is the answer to the first question people ask us.

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The answer to the next question would be that no, he is no longer our only son.  He was joined by his baby brother, Little Man, in February!

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The answer to the third most popular question would have to be that we do feel like we are done.   We were blessed with our eighth and final child in February.  Yes, we feel that, for us,  “eight is enough” and there is “just the ten of us”!  LOL

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A few more answers to common questions/ comments:

No, I am not a very patient person.   Having lots children does not make you a more patient person either!   I have tried to become more patient.  How well I am achieving that goal depends on the day.

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I am not, by nature, an organized person.  Well, organized by anyone else’s standards, that is.  I would have called my natural style “organized chaos”.  It looked chaotic to others, but not to me.  I knew exactly where everything was.  It is only in the past few years that I have become much more organized.  That organization, has come out of need.  The need to survive.  I have had to adjust my style of organizing so that others could easily find what they need and not need me to do it for them.

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Yes, we know what causes children.  We have perfected it.  Exhibit A-  8 children!  *wink*

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We have to laugh when we go somewhere and the people demonstrate their ability to count to 8.  They often do it out loud, as well.  Woo Hoo!  Two gold stars for you!  LOL

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Yes, we have a tv.  There is just so much garbage on that we have to find a way to entertain ourselves.  (Bwahahaha, sorry, I couldn’t help myself)  I really do say this.  I figure ask a goofy question… set yourself up for a slightly sarcastic answer.

Update- I have to add a few more answers in here to some questions (or comments) I keep getting.  I don’t take the comments and questions negatively, and all my answers are given with a smile and usually a laugh.

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No, God did not TELL us to have 8 kids.  We chose to one at a time.  We love them and never look back at life without them.  This is what life is all about.  Breeding?  No!  Relationships!!!!  I won’t knock people for only having 1, 2 or 15 and no one should knock me for having 8.  To each his own, right?

Our decision to homeschool, and the first couple of homeschooling years, were not because of God.  We had not yet formed our relationships with God.  We chose the homeschool option because of our desire for our children to receive one on one attention and instruction, curriculum chosen for their learning needs and abilities, and many more reasons.  Our kids deserve a fantastic educational foundation to build their lives from.  It is not always easy, but they are worth it!  Now that my husband and I have developed strong relationships with God, we are growing every day in Him, and He inspires us to focus that much harder on providing for our family educationally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It just makes everything that much better in our lives.

Got a family larger than the standard 2 kids?  Get the questions?  What are your answers?

Got a question of your own?  Ask me in the comments, and I will answer.

80 responses to “Why the name?

  1. This just answered my other question, that you don’t know if you’re done having kids. And that’s funny about people being able to count to 6.

  2. I just found your blog throught The Mom Blogs. I have heard all those questions, too! We have 6 with only 1 boy, and one on the way.

  3. We have been blessed with just two children – so far! We are a quiver full family and after 16 years of marriage , one adoption and one natural birth, you’d think we’d give up the dream of become a large family, but we are still waiting on God! I don’t qualify to be an adoptive mom because of a life threatening illness, but we still believe that God in in control and will bless us in His perfect time! Meanwhile, we have large family envy – a bit! LOL We do our best to seek friend ships with larger familes and invite them into our home – many say they rarely get invited out, so we try to make our time together special! Bless you for you sense of humor and candor as you answer the common questions – it must get pretty tiresome!

  4. Man, I get that with only 4 kids. I have no idea why we had 4. That’s what my husband was obsessively fixated on–the number 4. LOL

  5. We used to get some of that too, and like “Cat, Lazy Creek Zookeeper”, we also have four children. Maybe it’s because we don’t have the average family size of 2.3 children. Or is it 1.8?

    When I was pregnant with our 4th, I was surprised how many people asked us how many children we were going to have, as if we were never going to quit. Even my brother asked me that, and in exasperation I told him, “Oh, we thought about a dozen.” He replied, “You’d better get busy, then.” Good thing for him our conversation was over the phone and not in person…. :D

  6. I LOVE your blog name! I can relate, though it’s for different reasons. We only have two children because we felt our family was complete. They are the same sex, and people are always asking us, “But aren’t you going to try for a …?”

    Have a great weekend!

    http://xboxwife.blogspot.com/

  7. I can so relate to you. I have five girls (yes thats right, all girls)! I saw a show recently where a woman said it was wrong for people to have too many kids because a big family uses up too much air and we polute the enviroment more than we have a right to. My answer to that was the only person wasting air was her and her ignorant comments. And the only polution I could see was the crap (‘scuse my language) commming out of her mouth…

    We too are thinking of having another child. We know before we even create it that the baby will be a girl, but we still think we just might want another….

  8. I have four kids, ages 4 years to 7 weeks, and I get that “Are they all yours?” question all the time. I had no idea my family could be categorized as “large” until just recently. Amazing.

    I found you via “I should be folding laundry.” I look forward to coming back and reading more. :-)

    May the Lord bless your socks off!

  9. great site! we’ve only got 4, but I get asked all those questions all the time! it seems in this culture, you have one, then the second- if you get a girl and a boy people expect you to stop. if you have 2 of the same sex, you get to try for a third. if you still don’t get the boy/girl, you’re just out of luck. families that cross the “unspoken three child limit”, well, they’re just one of “those” families :) we saw this when we started telling people we were having a fourth. everyone had just assumed we were done! we had 3 girls first, then our son. we’re told how busy we look etc. every time we go out, and i’m AMAZED at how many people see the car seat in the cart and come right out and ask me if it’s a boy or not. i reply yes, and almost every time they say, “oh, good!” as if they are relieved for me that we can stop having kids now. (and i feel like i want to tell them, we are done having babies of our own, but not because we had a boy! and we hope to adopt- maybe four more! and if they’re all girls, we won’t mind!) the next response is usually, “I bet dad is happy!” to which i want to reply (since they are speaking in front of our other three kids), “yes, we’re so thankful every time God gives us another member of our family!” I also hear the “poor boy” comments all the time too- and he’s only 2 weeks old! then i stick up for him and explain how blessed he is to have three sisters that love him so much! anyway, thanks for the wonderful site!

  10. ur pretty kool if i might soy so myself

  11. I get this all the time with my nine too. The comments don’t normally bother me with the exception of one. We were getting out of an elevator once and someone said (I still can’t believe that they said this!) “it’s like a clown car…they just keep coming and coming”. Ahhh…the nerve. It has stayed with me for many years and I have prayed for that person hoping that the Lord would give them a little more wisdom when they see another big family.

    Tracy

  12. “We have to laugh when we go somewhere and the people at the stores and resteraunts prove that they can count to 6. ” I love that – made me chuckle! When I don’t have all of my 5 with me, I like to say, “and this is not even all of us!” Adoption is a dream as well. ;-) I shall be visiting your blog often! I just started mine and am still trying to figure out what it is.

  13. We get the same thing, as well as “you are one busy lady.” We have 8 and only one boy also. I always answer them with “yes they are all mine, don’t you wish you could have some like them?, or I wouldn’t choose a different job if I could, so rewarding.” And I mean it!

  14. Good for you!!! I am one of six and think large families are wonderful! Due to problems with infertility, I only have one son at the present time (he’s actually a miracle child!), but we are hoping to increase our family size in the near future! :-)

  15. I love the nick-names you have for your children! :) We are a “large” family as well; four with one on the way and we have all girls (so far). :) I, too, am shocked at how *strangers* will point you out and say, “Are they all yours?”, “Don’t ya think you have enough?” People don’t go up to a person with ONE child and say, “Aren’t you going to try for just one more?” “Is he an ONLY child?” I don’t get it. This is my life’s frustration. :) Seriously though… my heart is full of pity for those people out there that don’t know the joys of a “big” family… we are so blessed!!

  16. I came to your website via NQJC. I just couldn’t resist the “yes they are all mine”. We have 8 children and I say that ALL the time! I love your “counting to 6″ comment too. When we just had 6 this used to happen all the time. In the supermarket, at the zoo, everywhere! I’m happy to report that here in Australia people can’t count past 6, so we don’t experience the counting any more. We do get some really rude comments. Don’t you have tv? etc. Some people just feel they have to say, “Oh I couldn’t stand to have so many children”. To which I always reply, “My children are nice. You’d want this many if you had children as nice as mine!” It’s funny too how people all want to know how many more you’re going to have! (as if you have to pre-order them or think of a number BEFORE you start having kids!) To the question “Are you going to have any more?” I always say “Not this week!”

  17. Yes! I get that too with four. Then I get the “Are you done yet?” I’m sorry but are we on a road trip??? Children are blessings and I wish more people thought that! I have 1 girl and three boys and she gets a lot of sympathy.

  18. This is in response to a comment from Jen. I am the proud devoted mom of one beautiful 9 year old daughter. My husband and I have longed for more children but as of yet, God has not planned that for us. We often get questions about having only one child. “Aren’t you going to have any more?” “Why did you only have one?” “Don’t you feel sorry for her with no brothers and sisters?” I guess people can be rude and say unbelievable things no matter the size of your family!

  19. Kudos to you! I’m glad you have 6! I get so sick of Americans only having 2 kids because they want to spoil the heck out of them! We have 3 and are on our way to number 4 (we are adopting this time round). I love hearing about large families. I agree with you…to each their own, but don’t act like there is something wrong with me for choosing to have 4!

  20. I love seeing other big families. My Hubby and I always thought we would have 4, you know because your supposed to have a magic number to tell people, that was what I came up with. Once we had 2 children, I couldn’t believe I was halfway done. So I thought, well maybe 5 would be nice, that way we would still fit in our car. I just had baby #4 about 10 weeks ago, yeah I don’t think I’m ready to be done yet. So as far as having some magic number to tell people…I gave up on that. When we are done we will know and I don’t mind keeping that private anymore.

    Funny story… My mom’s theory was that you had to have an even number of children…otherwise you will have leftover hotdog buns! My brother said he would like 3 children and then I told him about mom’s theory (in jest of course) his reply was… “I’ll just have to eat 2 hotdogs!” Ha ha ha

  21. Ok, so I have another one. Just yesterday I was running the kids around here, there and everywhere. I ran into a family friend, who because it was so cold, sat in my front seat to chat. She looked back and saw I only had 2 children and asked where the other 2 were at. After explaining who was where, I made the comment…”yeah the car is pretty quiet, not the loud chaos that is my day.” She commented with: “Well you know…You play- You pay.” Augh! Why does it seem the more children I have the hornier people think I am? Like we are just having children because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Anyways, I thought of your blog after this was all said and done.

    Edited by Rhen-Oh my goodness! I have met people with 1 or 2 children whose lives are far more chaotic than mine and no one accused them of having to suffer because of being overly hormonal!

  22. I have 3 girls and 7 boys, oldest turning 32 soon, youngest is almost 9. What I have found through the years is that many, many people immediately share a deep regret (always with a touch of sadness) that they had “only” 2 or 3 children, and then go on to tell me their stories (money, medical reasons, whatever). After 10, the reasons invariably seem conquerable from where I stand, but when one is facing them, I am sure they don’t seem so. And I always feel so priviledged to be let into that part of their worlds. Never quite sure if I should be apologizing for having “succeeded” though, LOL!

  23. I have six, too. mine are all girls. I get the same questions, except with me they’re all asking “Are you still trying for a boy?” I hate that- like a boy is some deadline that once we get there, we’ll be done. A child is a child, and it doesn’t matter if they’re boys or girls. And the previous responder is so right, all those worldly problems are conquerable. There are no guarantees in life. How can anyone know they can “only afford” 2 kids? I’ve always wanted a house full, now I just want a housekeeper.

    Loving your blog, thanks for sharing.

    • Thank you for this…i’ve been struggling with the fact that i have 6 boys…my husband and i have decided to “be done” and he has gotten a visectomy…and i always wanted a girl and felt like i had to “keep trying” as you sd like that would be the deadline but after reading your post I just feel like a big weight lifted! thanks! God Bless!

  24. I live in Utah…land of huge families…and I STILL get questioned. I have 4 (1 boy)…people can’t resist the “Don’t you know what causes that?” and “How many more?” . Well, :P to them. LOL

  25. I had to click on your link from Tackle It Tuesday because, yes, they are all mine, too!! :) Actually, my favorite response to that question (if I don’t have them all with me) is to pretend I misheard and say, “No, this isn’t all of them!” (I’ve had people make comments when I only had 3 of them with me! Had to laugh at that one!)

    We have 6 also, and one on the way. Since we have 3 boys and 3 girls right now, people are always desperately curious to know what we are hoping for next. I just tell them that the youngest two are girls, so our sons figure it’s their turn! ;)

    The other comment I get ALL THE TIME is, “You don’t look old enough to have 6 kids!” (“Thanks!”) I’m 26 and kind of look younger than that, so people are always shocked. I’ve had people ask me where I go to high school, and they just about fell over when I explained that I graduated several years ago and am now a mother of 6. Other times people notice I am pregnant and ask me if this is my first.

    Oh the fun of interacting with “normal” people. LOL!

  26. Here from Rocks in My Dryer.

    I get this a lot too, and I’ve only got 4. And yes, they’re close in age, but sheesh. We also get the “oh you finally got your girl” thing, which annoys the snot out of me. Yes, I hoped for a girl, but we wouldn’t have had one more if I wasn’t perfectly ok with another boy. (And some days lately with a 2 year old daughter, I hear that old “be careful what you wish for” thing running through my head. I look forward to poking around here more. I suspect I’ll be a regular reader!

  27. You’ll get a kick out of this post and the comments–http://fritterfarmers.blogspot.com/2008/03/ranting-i-go.html

  28. My husband and I have so far decided not to have children (well, we have a four-legged furkid Lab/Pitbull/Shepherd mix aptly named Rascal), and I can only say how much I
    *a d m i r e* all of you with large families. I’m an only child of a single mom (dad is in the picture and I have half-siblings so I feel like I got the ‘best of both worlds’ kind of thing), and enjoyed my childhood immensely. But I’m wondering at age 40 (last November) if we’re making the best decision by not having children. (I would also want to homeschool – for a multitude of reasons, and grow a lot of our own food etc… but worry about money, which shows my lack of faith)

    I love reading the blogs of mom’s and families — and there are days I love my life and wouldn’t change a thing, and other days when I know I’m missing one of the most incredible experiences a woman can have.

    One friend really challenged me when she said ‘why wouldn’t you experience motherhood? If you’re capable of the experience… a large population on our planet (i.e., men) can’t have children and what a very cool, wonderful, challenging and rewarding thing it is. The hardest thing you’ll ever do — yet the one that brings the most un-imaginable rewards. Why
    *w o u l d n ‘ t* you want to experience all that you can while you’re here on earth??!!”

    I do want to say that people who make rude comments are likely full of fear. Somewhere in a dark corner of their heart they probably admire you but don’t recognize that because of the fear — they know how hard it is if they have children of their own and can’t imagine how someone could trust Life (God, Universe whatever your belief system is) enough to put their hearts in such a fragile position. At least, I want to believe that most people are not so callous and inappropriate! Most negative stuff is based in fear – and the replacement of fear is faith, and that is something I know but forget ALL the time.

    Anyway, this is long — but I just wanted to say I’ll be reading!!

  29. I just wanted to say … Thank you! I get the question all the time “Are all those yours?” I have finally started answering: “Nope, on the way out of the neighborhood, I just thought that I would round up a couple more rowdy kids to bring to the store with me and amuse myself with their yelling, screaming, crying and I find pure joy in all of them begging me to buy them something!”
    hahaha!
    I love having a Large and In Charge Family! It makes life FUN, I actually enjoy not having a dull moment around the house! Thanks for sharing your moments!!! I will be to read the “FUN” of another mom with her “hands full” <- another comment I have grown to dislike!

  30. I love the answers you give – people just don’t edit what they say! We have two, by choice, it’s the right number for us, but our girls are 1 year 10 days apart and couldn’t look more different (one’s fair-haired with green eyes and one’s brown-haired with brown eyes). Twice now I have ben asked by perfect strangers, “Do they have the same Daddy?” First response – utter silence, second response, “I’m not sure!” That’ll teach them for asking!

    Great site, I’ll check back often.

  31. I love your answer to those very personal questions! I have only 3 children as of now but I hear all the time “boy your hands are full” We had a vasectomy reversal in February and want more children and people even church people will say don’t you have enough. Unbelievable.

    And we homeschool for many reasons one being that we can teach our children about the love of Jesus each and everyday and because our government will not be in charge of my kids 9 hours a day no Thank You!

  32. We are just now announcing that we are expecting #4. I cannot beleive the comments I am getting. I think I will write them all down and put them in a blog post. :) I will be back!

  33. We have eight (hence the Octamom handle) and I knew the minute I saw your blog title EXACTLY ‘why the name’! Love the way you have graciously and succinctly fielded the questions!

    Blessings!

  34. I think it’s great! We want at least four, maybe six (I obsessively need an even number of children, being the middle of three), and I’m starting homeschooling for pre-school for my oldest this fall.

  35. I don’t think people realize what their remarks can do to a person.
    I think that they are just trying to be friendly and we all take it wrong.
    These remarks do not bother me.
    These comments have been said for years.
    It is just the way people are.
    I do not think that they are trying to be mean.
    I have 8 children.

    Edited by Rhen~ I agree that most people do not intend to be mean or rude. Which is why I said that all replies and such are given with a smile and often a laugh. Some of the comments will lead to a fantastic conversation with a new friend. When we do meet someone who is rude, I tend to ignore it. It rarely happens. :)

  36. I just love your blog!! You seem like such a fun-lovin’ gal– I couldn’t help but smile when you were talking about the tribe! It makes me think so much of my own kids. My hubby and I have four kids, and I also thought that you were more mature than 32 when you stated that you have 6 kids. I get googly-eyed looks as well when people see how many kids we’ve got, especially if they happen to be bold enough to inquire about my age (I just turned 29)! But so what?! We love each and every one of ‘em! Because we have two boys and two girls, people tend to hint that we “can’t do any better’n that” and that “we can stop now”. LOL ….And my personal favorite, “you guys need to get satellite tv!” They way I see it, each little person is an investment in the future. May we always do our best to teach our children all we know about God and then some. We are producing people that can make the world a better place, and who can be guiding lights in the darkness for the lost…leading them to that ultimate Light of the World, Jesus.

    By the way, I think the fact that you practice archery rocks!! I’ve always wanted to do learn how…be a modern-day “Mom-in-Hood”! Feathered cap ‘n all! LOL …My kids would be sooo embarrassed (but secretly they’d love it)!!!

  37. I think you’re blog is just fabulous and it sounds like you are a great mom with some wonderful kids!! We just have one so far and our plan is two, but if God intends for us to have more, so be it. I love the way you have learned to answer the “critics”! Keep it up, you are an awesome inspiration and encouragement!
    I love that you are such a gardener!! I am looking forward to doing my own large garden next year and I have quite a bit to learn, but I will get there. There’s just nothing like digging in the dirt!! If you have some great gardening tips, love to hear them!

  38. Thank you… we have 4 boys and 1 girl, and again i can relate. Nice to meet you, blogging buddy. can i call you that? :-) have a great and blessed day.

  39. Here’s what’s really crazy: I only have the standard two kids and I get questions and crazy looks! Is that not ridiculous? Have people gone mad? Has two become 1 too many now?

    Anyway, I love the blog…and the title…very funny! We hope to have as many children as God should see fit to bless us with, so I’m sure my persection has just begun!

  40. We’re just a few years into our marriage and have been blessed with one boy and one girl so far. We often get the comments, “Oh, how lovely, one boy and one girl, the perfect family!” Or, “How great that you’ve got your boy and your girl now!” And I agree that they are awesome kids and that this is the perfect family for us at this point in time. But I’m sure hoping that God has more than just one boy and one girl planned for us! :)

  41. Just “happened” across your blog and had to comment. I read through some old posts, and enjoyed my time here. We have 7 children, 10 years old and under–10 yr. old boy, then 5 girls (including 2 yr. old twins, and then a 5 mo. old boy. I homeschool as well, and we just started today. We usually start in August, but I was trying to get the house decluttered and organized more before starting for the year. Did it happen? No! LOL So, we are starting off in the midst of chaos anyway. We get the questions like you all the time, and another “favorite” is “Boy, you have your hands full!” Another one that we get a lot (can have two different meanings depending on who says it!) is “God bless you!” to which I sometimes reply, “He has!” :-)

  42. It amuses and exasperates me when strangers ask “silly” questions about my four kids (who all look exactly like me), and I delight in coming up with creative answers — that are still polite. :) After one particularly exasperating experience at the grocery store, I went home and told my husband all of the creative responses I had stored up and didn’t get to use — my mistake was telling him in front of the children. :) The next time we went somewhere, someone (after counting to four aloud) asked if they were all mine. I responded jokingly “no, only half of each”, and one of my then-five-year-old daughters piped up “The other half of me is Daddy’s!”

  43. Both of my sisters each got a boy and a girl. We however had 3 boys. But, when we got pregnant with the 3rd, my family had the nerve to say….”was this a planned thing???” What the heck, of course. All 3 children were planned, and even if they weren’t, they are all wanted for goodness sake! Out and about I constantly get the “Oh 3 boys huh, are you going to try for the girl??” comments. Or the “Oh, 3 boys, I bet they keep you busy, your a brave mom!” What is that all about??? It just makes me laugh at the nerve people have that they (perfect strangers) need to voice their opinion about their perception of our famiy/pregnancies/family planning.

  44. I feel like we have kindred spirits….everyone of those questions sound soooo familiar. How funny/sad is that? I pray you are having a wonderful day!

  45. It’s like you wrote this about our family, but we have 10 children with one “poor little boy”. Poor little boy??? He’s got the world at his feet with all of these girls ready to do whatever he wants. Hopefully, he’ll be a wonderful husband, totally sensitive to a woman’s needs by already being clued in to all of our idiosyncracies!

  46. Rhen! Too funny. I don’t think I’ve read this page – at least not recently. Had to chime in.

    Pet peeve – “Did you plan it or was it an accident?” –Are those the only two options??? I may not have planned it, but this child is no accident. It really amazes me when it’s a Christian that says this. Hello??

    The rest of the stuff is just funny. That “don’t you know what causes” this question gets a “yeah, and it’s fun!” response from me. I mean of you’re gonna ask a question like that it’s not my fault of the answer makes you blush. :^)

  47. I only have one child, and my second is due in October.

    I’m 21.

    I get some odd questions because I am so young, with “so many” kids “already”.

    I know MOST people wait until they’re older, but my husband and I both decided to have children immediately when we were married (we got married 2 weeks after my high school graduation). And not to toot my own horn, but we are very mature, spiritually and emotionally, for our age, so I don’t see anything wrong with it. If God trusts me with his children even though I’m so young, I will gladly take Him up on this opportunity!

  48. i totally relate to all the questions! Of course, my standard answer is, Yes, they’re all ours!

    I’ve had a few nasty comments along the way — but mostly compliments or just questions out of curiosity. I look at my large family as my platform for ministry — it gives me an opportunity to interact with strangers and share the hope that lies within me!

  49. I am dismayed to find out that having more kids will not make me more patient. We have two and one more on the way and I thought maybe this was the one that would bring on the patience. But you’re saying it won’t? Shoot.

    I am already getting the question, “was it planned?” and I’m only on number 3! We definitely live in a society where it’s “weird” to exceed two… Wait til we give them number 4!

    LOVE your answer to “do you know what causes children?” Going to have to remember that one…

  50. yes, we “only” have 4 and i instantly knew why you must have that blog name! the comment i get the most (usually at least once a day) is, “oh my, you must have your hands full!” i tell them while smiling, “full hands, full heart, right?!”

    thanks for sharing!

  51. my hubby is one of six and my sister in law is the only girl!!!!

  52. I have 4 kids, ages 18, 14, 4 and 3. People sneer at my older kids, thinking they are the parents of my younger kids, and immediately making the value judgement that they shouldn’t have kids, because they’re too young. I’ve been called “grandma”, asked if the two younger ones were “accidents”, and told that I “must be crazy to have two separate families” Yeah, um, hello, we are one, single family, not two separate ones. People constantly ask about my marital status (twice married, once divorced, should I get a T-Shirt?) and if my husband is younger than me, (Yes, 10 years, should I add that to the T-Shirt?) as if it were any of their business. Perhaps I should include the last time I had my teeth cleaned, and my last mammogram and pap smear on the T-Shirt?? People are incredibly callous and insensitive sometimes!
    I also homeschool the youngest 3 of the 4. I get crazy questions about that, too, like “is there something wrong with them?” or “Is there something wrong with your oldest kid, that he has to go to school for?” No, folks, my oldest son chose to continue with school, and my older daughter decided to self-school as soon as she was emotionally ready to tell her father that was her choice. For pete’s sake! Maybe other people need a few more kids to keep them busy and out of everyone else’s business!

  53. We have 12 kids now and I remember way back when we were having our 4th some lady asked. “Haven’t you ever heard of family planning?” To which I replied, “yes, we planned a family and now we’re having it.” Then at work when my encounters questions he usually has something good. His latest is. “I keep telling me wife to stop washing our underwear together but she just doesn’t learn.”

  54. I have three children, but I also care for my nephew (as he and his mom recently moved in with us). They are all 5 & under! However, I almost never have just my three. Between taking watching Faith, a ten year old friend, when she is off track from school, to helping out friends whenever I can, I get dirty looks ALL the time.
    It doesn’t bother me that people are rude and insensitive, because I know that they just don’t understand the blessings these children bring into my life!
    I say a quick prayer for them and move on with my day, grocery shopping or time at the library…

  55. Hi Rhen,
    Just found your blog somehow and I loved reading this about page and all the comments!

    We don’t have any children, and we are cool with that. I’m the 3 of 4 daughters. I remember being proud when mom would say we were all hers! She seemed so happy about it, and I was happy (at least at that moment LOL!) to have 3 sisters! I felt lucky!

    Families come in all shape and sizes, which is my favorite way to respond when ppl ask why we don’t have kids after 6 years of wedded bliss!

  56. I just found your blog today and totally knew why the name of the blog is “yes they are all mine”.
    We “only” have four, but our first three are triplets. We get the same questions. The worst comment I have ever received was “I would kill myself if I had triplets + 1″. I wanted to cry. This was said right in front of my children. Thankfully they were too young to understand.
    I am discovering it is better not to take offense to the questions and comments. I like your attitude.

  57. Right before my husband deployed, we were out to dinner- we have 4 children. A man came up to us, and said ‘Wow. 4 kids?’ and then he looked at my husband and said ‘They all yours?’. He didn’t look at US and ask, he looked at my husband……isn’t that wonderful? My husband was kind of at a loss– he was also busy chewing his steak- so he just smiled and I said ‘Nope, not that little one- we found that one out front and he looked hungry.’ When the man walked away, my oldest goes ‘Mom, that isn’t true. You didn’t find Jack outside’ :)

  58. I know what I’ve heard with having three children–I can only imagine the comments you get! When I was pregnant with my 3rd, I was shopping at the grocery store *alone* (never have done that very often) and a woman who was repeatedly trying to get her child to just stay in the shopping cart smiled sweetly at my big belly and said, “Oh, you’ll find out what this is like soon enough.” I laughed, and told her I had two children at home. She *gasped* and snorted, “Don’t you know what causes that?!” I kept my mouth shut, but thought exactly what you said above. LOL

  59. Love your answers!! I only have 4, but I get it all the time too, especially now that we’ve moved up north. It happens less often now, however, since my 11yo daughter is almost my size; I think folks think she is my sister or something. When they were little, the Q&A was always followed by, “Boy, you have your hands full!”

    I know I’ve stopped by before in the past, but there was a little blog hiatus with our sudden and huge move, but glad to find you again through You Capture.

    Last…I think you need to update this-don’t you have 7 now? ;-)

  60. Found you on the homeschool hop today…Its great to read your post. My friend went to a baby store to puchase my shower gilf and the sales clerk was so shocked when she found out if I was having number 5, she asked if it was a mistake!

  61. I just got pregnant with my third (when she’s born we’ll have 3 under 3), and I am SHOCKED at the number of times I’ve been asked, “Did you plan them?” First of all, how is my family planning ANY of your business, random stranger? And secondly, there’s not an easy “yes” or “no” answer to that question. God planned each of my children, and we allowed him to. That’s all that matters.

  62. Enjoyed reading this and the comments! We are a family of 8 & I love every minute of it! My husband and I were out looking at campers with all 6 kiddos & the salesman says, “you do know what causes this?”! I can’t stand that question, & it is worse when it is in front of all the kids. A good come back (I will have to remember this next time) “oh, yes, and we are loving every minute of it!”
    Like your blog & look forward to more of it. Trying to get mine going at homeschoolblogger.com/paulajoy. It is fun!

  63. Oh. My. Goodness!!! We get the same questions. Except, since we have seven sons, they also like to ask us, “so are you going to keep trying til you get a girl?” Oh dear. Love your blog!!!!

  64. Pingback: Start As You Mean To Continue | Yes, They Are All Mine

  65. I stumbled across your blog just now and had to laugh at this page. I have 3 boys and I get all the same questions/comments (my replies in parentheses):
    *Wow! You have your hands full!, or, You must be busy! (I usually just nod and agree with this one. Haven’t come up with a decent snarky comment yet.)
    *No girls? (Nah, I like boys. Besides, my sister has all the girls.) {which she does – 3 of ‘em!}
    *Are you going to try for a girl? (this answer said with a wink and a smile – Nope. I might end up with another boy!)
    *You’re too young to have 3 kids! (Well, obviously not, because here they are!)
    *And my fave, when I was preggo with #2, Are you going to have another one after this? (Depends on how this one turns out!)

    Then there are the people who ask if I’m done having kids. The answer is yes. (But not because of choice. Because of medical issues.) Then they go on to say that at my age, I can’t ever be sure of that. I have yet to find a humorous answer that also tells someone they crossed the line from friendly to banter into personal territory.

  66. I am 24 and my husband and I have three children under the age of four. We get the questions ALL THE TIME! The worst however is from our families! They call us crazy, ask if we know what causes it…..one sister in law even refered to us a bunnies! and my BIL bought us a board game one year for Christmas so that we would have “something else to do.” When they kept asking how many children we were going to have I jut started answering 10 and every time now that is my answer. :)

  67. I only have 3 and everytime we leave the house I hear at LEAST one “You’ve sure got your hands full!” I always just reply “Oh, but my heart’s full, too!” asI walk away. It amazes me the things people will say!

  68. I saw the name of your blog and I just HAD to visit! I feel so bonded to you after reading about you! LOL! We have seven blessings from ages 18-5, and yes, my husband absolutely counts as the eighth child! I love that you addressed most of the obnoxious questions and that you share my love of sarcasm! ;o)

    Here’s one I didn’t see mentioned above: My last two children were adopted. One of them is a fair-skinned blondie that stands out from the rest of my olive-skinned, brown-haired bunch. It amazes and disgusts me how many strangers will point out that he “looks different” or “doesn’t fit in” with my other kids! Right in front of him!!! My answer? “Ya, he has a different father.” LOL! Shuts ‘em right up every time!

  69. We have 4 kids, the youngest 2 being a set of boy-boy fraternal twins, and I hear “you sure have your hands full” all the time. I think people just say whatever comes into their heads and nearly everyone is just being friendly. My answer is usually “My cup runneth over”

  70. I’m an only child that had an only child. I grew up hearing people saying “aren’t you lonely?” (Nope!) and “ooh I bet you’re spoiled!” (Nope!). Anytime I did something great it was just “because you’re an only and have time to study/do whatever you want” etc. *sigh* Now that I’m the mom of one, I get lots of pointed questions and comments like “don’t you think he needs a sibling?” and “can’t you HAVE more?” and “don’t you LIKE kids?” Good grief! I had a miscarriage before I had my son, and I’m perfectly fine with one child! I teach Sunday School and children’s choir (so there goes the “don’t you LIKE kids?!” thing. LOL). My husband grew up in a big family and although he loves his siblings, he quite frankly likes the quiet of our little “three in the family” (that’s a magic number). ;) If people could only realize that not everybody has to be like them! :D

  71. Waving hello from across the state line. Mom of three grown/almost grown sprouts (ages 26, 23 and 16.) I stumbled on your blog through a gardening post and was intrigued by your story. Very best wishes and blessings on your family as you continue on your path with them. It can be a bit of a wild ride, but one I wouldn’t have missed for anything in the world.
    Terry

  72. People always ask if we know what makes babies and how I can stay at home with all of them 24/7. I reply that my career at the moment is my children. Most of my family feels that I’m “wasting my life” because I was the “brains of the family” (valedictorian in high school and magna cum laude in college). When I quit working to stay home with the kids, I lost all my co-worker “friends.” It was really difficult the first few years, staying at home, and feeling so rejected by so-called friends. After we had #3, even my husband’s friends started to exclude him from invitations to their activities.

    It’s amazing how society has set such a stigma to people with more than 2 kids. Anyway, I don’t know if my children will have more than 2 kids, any kids, or lots of kids. It’s really up to them, but I know that our bunch (6 kids) have a lot of fun together, and when we’re in public around lots of children (parks, zoo, museums, etc.), our kids are always part of the happiest and most assertive of the group of children. Adults love having conversations with them, and all of our neighbors 50+ years old LOVE our kids. It’s the neighbors that are around our age or younger and only have 1 or 2 kids that seem to have the snobbiest attitudes toward us (for instance calling the town on our chickens being too close to the community pool—-we were within our rights with where we put them on our property, but we moved them out of her eyesight after that—she never understood that they were the children’s pets, had been handraised and named, etc. in addition to giving us delicious eggs).

    We’re going to have to be relocated near Atlanta, GA, within the next 2 years, and I really hope to meet some other big families. Up here, the biggest families are 2 church families that each have 4 girls, and even they snub us, because they can not understand why our boys are so loud and rambunctious. Most families we know homeschooling, church, and through local activities only have 2 children and can’t understand how we can have 6. I don’t really know how to find other big families other than you moms online. I guess maybe I should start praying about it! :-)

  73. God bless you and your family! I hope one day me and my husband will be bless with as many children! We said we’ll have as many as we can afford! (hope he wins the lotto!) lol I was an only child till I was 15 and always longed for siblings. Now my sister is like my daughter-we are super close and I’ll miss her dearly when me and my husband get stationed somewhere else.

  74. Only recently found your blog. We are expecting #4 and hoping for more. I haven’t gotten too many questions yet — I do get “Your hands are full!” a lot, though. Mine are all close together. When baby #4 arrives the older kids will be 5, 3.5, and 19 months. I can only imagine the comments I’ll get then. :)

  75. Love your answers!! *lol* We get the same kind of questions with 5 kids! Have to admit tho’, I’m getting the ‘baby bug’ again…hmmm. One question, what kind of car do you have? Or do you have a post about it already? I’m new to your blog :)

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